For those of us who have travelled too many times to count, we pay little attention to the airhostesses as they run through the routine, crash course on surviving a plane crash. So I am on this West Jet flight bound for Toronto. It seems like eons ago since my last visit. I plan to enjoy every minute of this trip even with the threat of freezing cold tempretures waiting to suck the life out of me like the dementors in a Harry Potter movie.
In a high pitched canadian accent the air hostess welcomes the "Guest" on board. She then asked us to pay attention to the safety instruction booklet and her colleagues as they go through the safety instructions. Disinterestedly, I pulled the inflight magazine from the seat pocket infront of me, browsed it briefly and tossed it aside. Nothing readily caught my attention. Stark difference from those on Caribbean Carriers.
Bored, I refocused on the airhostess. I mean seriously, as if anyone would remember all that information if the plane took a sudden nose dip and began a quick and steady decline on an unmarked trajectory to the botom of the sea. I think even as a frequent flyer the air hostess will not be able to function beyond the how to unfasten the seat belt part of the orientation.
Could you imagine the over two hundred passengers on the plane, stooping to retrieve lifejackets under the seat, carefully opening the packaging, pulling out the jacket and having placing it over their heads, queuing up to jump outside anxiously waiting to pull down on the tabs and then "alleluia" Freedom Escape Nirvana. Shit!!! this is definitely not skydiving and there is no parachute but then again most of the passengers are caucasian and may ejoy the rush of adrenaline from the free fall. Almost like bungy jumping without the rope. So why worry? That will definetly be a bonus on the flight.
The captain's voice rings out to inform us there is insufficient gas for the journey. So as we fill up the air hostess tries to entertain the guests with jokes and I am momentarily snapped back to reality. I am an unwilling crash test dummy.
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On the many times the airhostess on LIAT or Caribbean Star would go through this routine, I would often pay scant regard. I recall one time an air hostess coming up because I sat at the emergency exit and ask me if I was willing to assist in case of an emergency; "sir please take time to read the...." my retort was why, if the plane is going down I'm going to put my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye.
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